Why do I feel vaguely uncomfortable when I encourage fellow riders to think and act in a proactive, safety conscious manner? Like the too-chatty co-worker at lunch, it feels like I am somehow intruding, even unwelcome, in this macho world of motorcycles. 

I don’t even have to see how any given rider handles his/her motorcycle, as a casual glance at riders’ apparel tells me heaps about their safety attitude. From the cruiser pilot’s statement with the fake beanie and fingerless fashion gloves to the crotch-rocket jockey in running shoes, shorts and a tee — they are only deluding themselves about being good riders. Safety doesn’t just mean wearing proper gear, but it is a very visible expression of attitude and safety awareness. Unfortunately, far too many of the visible attitudes tell me all the wrong things. Five seasons of brief weekend rides and regular commuting to the donut shop do not a rider make… and the immortality of youth does not save one from painful reality when pushing the envelope goes awry. 

In Pat Hahn's book, "Ride Hard — Ride Smart," he breaks common sense proactive safe riding into what he has labelled the "Three Degrees of Separation." This is the separation which exists between safe and enjoyable riding and the dire consequences of being unprepared. From the bottom up, this includes: 

1. Defensive Riding Strategy.
2. Training Skills
3. Riding Gear  

Believe it…  Good protective gear is your backup in case the first two lines of defence crumble. But wearing protective gear is not just about saving one’s hide in a worst-case scenario calamity. Good gear is about attitude — about being safety proactive and about being prepared before you get on the bike. 

Buy the best protective equipment that you can afford. Helmet, jacket, pants, gloves, boots… they all contribute to both the safety and comfort of the rider. A cold, wet and tired rider is not safe. A hot and dusty rider with dirt-covered sunglasses is not safe. A sunburned and dehydrated rider is not safe. And so it goes…Good gear improves the long-term comfort of the rider, which in turn also makes him/her a safer rider. Hypothermia, exhaustion, dehydration, heat stress — insidious, silent and potentially deadly for a motorcycle pilot. Not that one is likely to die from dehydration or any other physical stress while actually riding — but the combination of discomfort, stress-induced fatigue and physical impairment of skills might just be enough to cause an otherwise avoidable crash. Good gear protects you long before you are in trouble with the pavement. Isn’t your health and enjoyment worth the investment in comfort and safety? 

As motorcyclists, we accept a degree of risk that others might not.  But that doesn’t mean we get to thumb our noses at common sense. Wearing the best protective gear won’t automatically improve your riding skills — but it will put you in the right frame of mind to be safety conscious and aware. And that is a vital step in the right direction — a step into the right attitudes and awareness of risk. Ride hard and play safe! — Alison Green 

My international touring experience is not extensive, but most of my touring miles have been solo, which can be interesting. My first big bike was a 1975 BMW R60/6, purchased new with every dollar that I could scrape together back then — and we are still together. I have certainly owned and ridden bigger, faster, snazzier machines, but the 600 is a fixture in my life.One doesn’t have to ride the latest and greatest to enjoy touring. Or to find yourself in a pickle and far from home.

For those of you who travel in far places, beware the sidestand. In countries where the flow of traffic is reversed from what we assume is normal ( eg. In Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand), the sidestand is still mounted on the bike’s left. This means that if the sidestand is deployed at any roadside stop, the bike will be canted away from the centre of the road rather than towards it.   Sounds very trivial until you have to pick up a fully loaded bike from the downslope side! If you must make a stop at the road’s edge,  sometimes a quick U-turn back onto your own side of the road is the best solution — obviously only in places with minimal traffic. Tour operators are generally conscientious about warning riders about every possible hazard — except this one! 

Similarly when riding in left-hand flow traffic, the usual cheerful wave to oncoming motorcyclists  results in the throttle slamming shut and the startling deceleration of your bike. A simple nod is sufficient. Waving with one’s left hand just doesn’t seem to work well in reverse-flow traffic.

Here at home, I seldom lock my motorcycle, but in far away places caution reigns and the special kryptonite tamper-proof cable lock is carefully deployed any time the bike is out of my sight. Unfortunately, even care and caution has its hazards… Locks are not part of my pre-ride mental checklist and I have discovered that any attempt to ride off into the sunset (or sunrise) with the lock in place results in an abrupt and embarrassing halt. The scenario then degenerates into a struggle to right a loaded touring bike with the cable lock bar-tight and no possibility of rocking the machine. There is some hope for me — I have never had to learn this lesson twice on any given trip — just once per tour.

When traveling, I make a very real effort to seek directions and local knowledge whenever possible. This has generally helped but I have still been caught out by not asking the right questions – or by not really listening to the answers. Situations have also been made worse when a degree of smugness at my own level of experience creeps into the mix. Consider the techniques for riding on dusty, rough, loose dirt roads… been there, done that — lots. What could be so different about the Australian outback roads —  other than the heat?

The little detail that I missed was the something that the locals call bulldust. Aussi outback dust is very, very fine! So fine in fact, that the depressions in the so-called outback tracks fill with loosely settled dust and the holes then become disguised as smooth bits. One must avoid these smooth areas at all costs. Beneath that benign surface lurks anything from a pothole to washboard to a bike-eating gully.  After or during the wet (read: rainy season) these bulldust pockets become glutinous traps. The clingy mud is so thick that I once walked away from my bike and left it standing forlornly upright in the middle of the track. This damsel in distress — and her bike, were rescued by a gallant and very amused rancher and his trusty Toyota truck. I suspect that if I had listened more closely to the campfire discussions of the conditions ahead, I might not have found myself in such an inglorious predicament.

If anything can be gleaned from my mishaps and musings, perhaps it is a reminder of the universal travel caution. It really doesn’t matter where one is riding, the details can not be ignored, and applied common sense is a rider’s best resource. The wonder and challenge of new places is best enjoyed with attention to the situation at hand and a clear head.

Bad luck when traveling can happen to anyone: Good Luck takes planning and the right attitude. – Alison Green 

Murphy's Law #3,475: The clear mountain pass you crossed all summer in your car will be covered in snow when you cross it on your Norton. 

I’m certain that there are many lists of motorcycle related pitfalls, humorous and painful, but these are all lessons that I have learned in person. Sometimes I have even had more than one lesson on the same topic! – Alison 

Details! My mother used to be fond of saying “the devil is in the details.” As a child, I didn’t have a clue what she meant. Maybe the devil isn’t as popular these days, as I haven’t heard that expression for years. But now that I am supposed to be all grown-up, and especially since I choose to ride a motorcycle, I have finally figured out what she meant. Guess what? She was right!

Some of the items that follow aren’t really “details” in the traditional sense; just everyday things that can foul up the best of plans in the most inventive ways. If you are on a motorcycle you had better pay attention to the details, or else! Ignoring them invites embarrassing and sometimes painful reminders that the small stuff does matter – and how. Consider this an extended list of lessons learned – thankfully not all on the same ride:
 

An open-ended “Murphy’s Law for Motorcycles”• The bike will go precisely 0.4 km with the fuel petcock in the “off” position.
• “Level” ground is sometimes anything but!  This is usually discovered after pulling into a parking spot with a fully loaded touring bike. Without a reverse gear, backing a bike up even the gentlest of grades is hard work and cannot be done with any degree of dignity.
• You put your bike key safely in your hip pocket – before you donned your raingear and helmet and gloves and plugged in your headset.
• Pushing a bike, any bike, because you have run out of fuel is maddening, and very hard work. You will be precisely midway between available gas stations when the bike quits, uphill from where you stopped or a long way from nowhere, (in which case pushing is futile.)
• The bike will not start with the kill-switch in the off position. You never forget it when you are alone, only when others are observing.
• “Hard” gravel is an oxymoron. Sooner or later, you will choose the wrong spot to deploy the sidestand and will have to pick up the bike. There will always be other bikers watching.
• It will already be raining, and raining very hard, by the time you decide to stop to don your wet-weather gear. The sun will come out five minutes later.
• A helmet which is placed on the seat of the bike will fall to the ground and get scratched, even on a perfectly calm day. This mostly happens to new helmets.
• Your favourite jeans are in the wash, so you wear the newer pair – the ones that are a wee bit snug. Well, lets just say that after 30 kilometers you are certain that the day is not going to be fun! This applies equally to men and women. Squirming while riding does not help. Also, undergarments cannot successfully be adjusted while astride a motorcycle.
• Trying to wipe a big bug splatter off your face shield with your glove will result in a greater mess. If you only hit one bug, it will be in your line of vision.
• The time required to get geared up and rolling rises geometrically with the number of people and bikes involved. Any quick five-minute stop for one bike/rider, takes at least 10 minutes if there are two bikes, and multiples of 10 if there are more.
• The straight sections of road where overtaking would be easy will be empty of traffic. The anticipated curvy sections of the road, complete with a double yellow line,  will be clogged with slow-moving trucks and holiday traffic.

I have barely scratched the surface of the potential list of motorcycle-related Murphy’s laws and I am still discovering previously unrecorded and interesting new ones …  I just wish that the learning curve didn’t involve quite so many embarrassing moments! – Alison Green