Mechanical Hypochondriac

Reader Contribution by Alison Green
Published on August 18, 2008
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Alison and her bike of choice, BMW’s great GS80

All of my life I have been in the lucky position of assuming that good health is the normal state, and that anything less is an aberration that will soon pass.

Not that there haven’t been periods of serious discomfort – but almost always it has  been of the easily identifiable, structural sort: sprains, bruises, stitches and such like. This is pain of a known source – and I can cope. I also am usually acutely aware of just what caused the injury and make mental notes to myself to not perform that particular foolish maneuver again. One injury per stupidity is plenty, thank you.

On those rare occasions when internal plumbing has caused me discomfort for more than minutes, I become absolutely convinced that I am going to die immediately of some rare and untreatable disorder – likewise headaches become aneurisms for certain! I do not read medical books for the same reasons; there just isn’t time for one body to suffer all of the maladies that exist, and I would soon become the world’s worst hypochondriac.

Where am I going with this thread? Motorcycles and mechanical hypochondria! Working as I do for long weeks in a camp environment, I spend far too much time on the internet. There are discussion forums on every conceivable topic, and innumerable ones related to all things motorcycle. Name the model and make and year, and there will be a discussion board pertaining to just that bike. Great stuff – but I’m beginning to think that some of these guys (almost always) must spend about 23 hours per day creating instructions for others. When do they sleep? Ride? Work? Given this new perspective, I’m now convinced that venturing beyond the driveway on my bike might be tempting the fates …

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